


Coffee Break

by thedemonsurfer



Category: Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2015)
Genre: Gen, Mentions of Strongarm, Sideswipe is a jerk, and Grimlock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-04-19
Packaged: 2018-03-24 18:04:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3778321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedemonsurfer/pseuds/thedemonsurfer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even pride had limits, and those limits were a lot less than four straight days of missions as one Decepticon signal after another appeared on the Alchemor's radar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coffee Break

**Author's Note:**

> Something I cooked up a few weeks back when I caved and watched all of the aired episodes of RiD over like two days (mostly for discussing crapsack world headcanons with a friend). Contains some very minor spoilers from episodes 5 (More Than Meets the Eye) and 7 (Collect 'Em All) so you know. You've been warned.
> 
> May have some typos as I wrote the vast majority of this in one go, so edits will be done after I've had a chance to sleep. Possibly part of a future collection?? Maybe???

_Four. Days._

Four straight days of this. Sideswipe understood- sort of- that the Earth was more or less defenseless. Every planet had it's own government and authorities, but Bumblebee was adamant that they kept themselves and the convicts unnoticed. And fine, Denny and Russel were _smart_ , but they were also very tiny and very easily crushed, so it wasn't hard to imagine what kind of damage one rouge convict could do in a short amount of time. Earth needed them to protect it, and if Sideswipe were being honest with himself, he couldn't help but feel at least a little proud that he was doing something more rewarding than bothering Kaon's cops with petty crime.

But even pride had limits, and those limits were a lot less than _four straight days_ of missions as one Decepticon signal after another appeared on the _Alchemor_ 's radar. Eventually even Bumblebee's painfully pathetic attempts at finding a good 'Autobots, roll out' replacement became not much more than a sigh and a 'follow me' gesture. Truly an inspiring leader for them all.

Said inspiring leader was standing in from of the _Alchemor_ 's command deck right now, arms crossed and trying his best to project an aura of 'completely competent team leader who is _not_ about to pass out on his feet'. Behind him Sideswipe could hear the in no way subtle snoring of Grimlock, who clearly had done away with pretending to go straight for the prize.

“Well?” Another sigh (a little heavy on the drama in Sideswipe's opinion- six out of ten points) as Bumblebee stared into the command deck at the small orange trashcan scurrying around. “Where's the next one?”

“The next- oh!” Fixit's hands- claws- _things_ danced over the console, and the loathsome map of the area was projected. “You're done. There are no more Decepticon signals active in this area.”

“Wait, really?” Bumblebee sounded surprised. Sideswipe didn't blame him.

"I think so. If you want, I can run another can- scam-" The minibot whacked himself in the chest. "- _scan_ of the area to double check. We wouldn't want any Decepticons slipping under our radar."

"Ah, about that." Sideswipe had already gotten a few steps away before he froze under Bumblebee and Strongarm's look. Hands up in surrender, the sports car did his best to suppress an excited engine rev. No way on Cybertron was he going to let this opportunity slide past. "Why don't we just.. trust the scanner! And spend some time catching up on a little 'R and R'. What d'ya say, Bee?"

Do you see this face, Bumblebee? Come on you can trust this face. The lieutenant looked thoughtful, and Sideswipe let out an audible groan as Bumblebee turned back towards the command center. Slagging _cops_ with their slagging sense of _duty_. "We really _should_ run another scan. Just to check."

"Right well, you have fun with that." Dropping his arms and drawing himself up, Sideswipe offered his team a jaunty little flick of the finger. "The only checking this guy is doing is checking _out_." Before either mech could react, he had already folded down into his alt mode. The rev of his engine and the spray of dust and stones against his side panels covered up whatever Strongarm yelled as he drove away, though Sideswipe had a strong suspicion it wasn't anything polite. And to think, she read out regulations with that vocalizer.

A clean getaway.

* * *

 

Of course, a _truly_ clean getaway meant he wouldn't be caught within a handful of clicks. There were some cement pipes ranging in size from 'large' to 'car stunts' stacked in what was more or less a pyramid at the very back of the property, and it was in one of those that Sideswipe decided to make his hideout. He was reasonably confident that the rest of the team didn't know about them, or if they did, they wouldn't think to look there until he'd gotten a nice long nap. After all, cement pipes? Not Sideswipe's style at _all_.

Yup, Sideswipe was definitely a genius. Head pillowed on his arms, the sportscar reclined along the inner curve of his chosen pipe for some well-deserved self congratulating. And some well-deserved rest. Already his systems were beginning to relax, and it was just as his optics were sliding closed that he heard it.

Something was moving out there.

Ah, _scrap_. Engine revving, Sideswipe sat up to scoot further back into the tube and winced as his arm scraped the sides, the sound magnified in the small space. The movement outside stopped, then resumed, coming closer, dispelling any hope that whoever it was had somehow missed that. From the shape of the cement pipe Sideswipe wouldn't be able to see who or what it was without physically sticking his helm out.

 _Double scrap_. Alright, damage control. Of the two cops, he _might_ be able to convince Bumblebee to show a little mercy. The Lieutenant was more or less cool, if stuck up when he remembered he was supposed to be a 'role model'. If it was Strongarm, Sideswipe was t-boned. She'd drag him out for an hour of chewing out instead of getting her own beauty sleep. He already knew it wasn't Grimlock; not enough stomping.

Russel? Russel would show mercy. As would Denny. _Please_ let it be Russel or Denny and not-

"Sideswipe? What are you doing in there?"

 _Fixit_. The sportcar stared for a moment at the trashcan peering over the edge of the pipe before he let out a relieved bark of laughter. He was getting himself all worked over the _Minicon_. Grinning widely, the mech scooted back down into the pipe and resumed his comfortable position.

"Hey, Fixit. Just taking a break." His voice was casual with a hint of cheer. As a conmech Sideswipe could barely cheat someone out of their breakfast, but Fixit had been outsmarted by a camera and an idiom. This was the training wheels of manipulation.

"Oh." The minicon seemed vaguely puzzled, rolling back out of sight for a moment before his head popped back around. "So you got approval from Lieutenant Bumblebee to take an official break?"

Stifle a groan and resist the urge to scrub your hand over your face, Sideswipe. Yes, the trashcan had seen the part where you'd driven off in a cloud of dust. No big. "Of course! You really think I'd be relaxing somewhere he couldn't find me in case we've got another signal to track?" Nevermind that he couldn't be further off Bumblebee's radar unless he took a walk through the forest. "Relax, this is all legit."

"Well, alright! Enjoy your break!" Did Fixit just wave at him? Ugh. Sideswipe scowled in the direction the Minicon had disappeared before closing his optics. Now, about that nap...

A loud thud had him startling back to full alertness. When a moment of tense waiting provided nothing but silence, Sideswipe cautiously settled back down into the bottom of the pipe. This time he didn't get the chance to even pretend to relax before there was another thud, followed by some clanging, something glass breaking, and a very familiar (and annoying) voice shouting something indecipherable.

Ugh. _Fixit_.

Growling to himself, Sideswipe rolled over enough to glare out of the cement pipe. To the left, nothing. To the right, a pile of trash with an orange drone attempting to drag something out of it. At this rate he might attract Denny's attention. Or worse. "Yo, Fixit! What're you doing?"

"Oh!" Well, it was moderately gratifying to see the Minicon startle as badly as Sideswipe had. "Well, with all the recent activity some of the _Alchemor_ 's systems need repairs- I mean, _more_ repairs. And Denny said it was alright if I-"

Sideswipe waved a hand to cut Fixit off. "Just the basics, dude, not the play by play. Can you like, keep it down a bit? Trying to take a break here."

The Minocon almost looked... perturbed? Was that even an option? Maybe he was just confused on how to wrap his processor around 'being quiet'. It certainly didn't seem to be a skill he'd been programmed with. Sighing deeply, Sideswipe will show the trashcan a smidgen of mercy. Look at him go, the nicest of Autobots. "Why don't you take a break too? Come on, you've got to be at least as tired as the rest of us."

"What? Oh no, I don't think that's possible. According to Subsec- Sub-" Sideswipe was pretty sure Fixit just _growled_. Interesting. "According to Autobot regulations a Minicon is supposed to remain at their post at all times. That precludes taking breaks." A short nod, and the Minicon turned back to his pile of trash.

Well scrap, this wasn't good. Knowing Fixit, the little chatterbox would spill Sideswipe's location as soon as he saw Bumblebee. And then it was the Strongarm thing all over again and- no. Not going to happen. Which mean Sideswipe, extremely attractive genius that he was, had to think of something quick.

And of course, being a _genius_ , an idea immediately came to mind. "Hey, do you have that ship's manifest thing on you?"

"This?" Fixit rummage around... _somewhere_ , before pulling the device out. Sideswipe would have called it a datapad except it was way too clunky to be anything but an ancient one. Maybe it was a scanner of some kind. "Of course. Did you want to see it?" The Minicon scooted closer by a few feet.

"No, that's okay." Like he could handle something that small anyway. "But you've got that thing on you at all times, right? And it's linked up with the _Alchemor_?" Giving his best companionable smile, Sideswipe withdrew partially into his pipe with a nonchalant air. "It seems to me that _technically_ , you're carrying your post around with you if you've got that thing." A casual shug, though he made sure Fixit saw the motion.

A long pause as Fixit digested the idea, and Sideswipe's smile because more of a triumphant smirk when he heard the Minicon roll a little closer. "I... suppose that works. And you think Lieutenant Bumblebee would agree?"

"Bee? Yeah sure, whatever. Even Strongarm couldn't complain." After all, it was hard to complain about something you didn't _know_. As long as this got Fixit to stay quiet and not give away his position, Sideswipe didn't care what the Minicon did with his newfound concept of a break.

Wait, scratch that. He cared about _one_ thing, and that was when a pair of claws latched onto the edge of his pipe. The scrape of Fixit trying to pull himself up neatly covered the bang of Sideswipe's head against the wall, and only the Minicon's total obliviousness prevented him from reacting to the glare the sportscar shot him. Sideswipe scooted a few feet further down for good measure. "Seriously, dude? Go find your own pipe."

"Well, I just thought that since you were already here, this spot was the approved 'break room'," was the bright reply. Sideswipe didn't even bother hiding his groan as he dragged a hand down his face. _Fine_. He was tired, this was a good hiding spot, and the trashcan would probably make way too much noise if Sideswipe tried to stuff him into a capture cell.

"Right, whatever. Just don't _touch_ me, alright? I just got waxed."

* * *

_Un_ believable. First Sideswipe takes off, and now Fixit disappears. Which meant, of course, that Bumblebee had to delay his own well-deserved rest in order to track down his wayward teammates, because a good leader knew where all of his mechs were at all times. At least, Optimus had kept track of his team, and that was the only leader Bumblebee cared about

Strongarm had nearly worked herself into a fit after Sideswipe had disappeared into the scrapyard, and only her own exhaustion and the news that there really weren't any more Deceptions at the moment had kept her from taking off after the mech for a good stripping. Bumblebee had left her peacefully snoozing in vehicle mode along with Grimlock, promising to at least confirm that Sideswipe was still in the scrapyard. The Autobot spared a private smile. Sometimes it was hard to remember which of them was the deputy and which was the lieutenant.

Personally, Bumblebee could sympathize with Sideswipe's actions. They were completely reckless, of course, but the younger 'bot reminded him too strongly of a certain blue and yellow rookie for him to hold a grudge. Bending the rules as far as possible and maybe breaking a few minor ones was right up his alley. Besides, Bumblebee was confident that if there really _had_ been another Decepticon, the red sportscar would have dragged himself up right alongside everyone else.

Of course, now he actually had to _find_ Sideswipe. And Fixit. The fact that the orange Minicon had disappeared so soon after Sideswipe was worrying, and Bumblebee had checked a few of the stasis cells to make sure they hadn't suddenly acquired occupants. Part of that 'rule bending' most definitely extended to hiding smaller teammates where they shouldn't be.

It was when he was near the back of the property and wondering if he'd have to expand his search to the surrounding woods that Bumblebee finally caught a break. To be more technical, he caught sight of something, and that something was a black and red arm sticking out of a cement pipe. Soft engine purring echoed out of the tube.

"Bingo." See? He wasn't totally useless at being a scout, even now. Smirking to himself, Bumblebee carefully stepped around to peek inside of the pipe. One escaped teammate, check. And- huh.

Sideswipe was sprawled out along the inside of the pipe, vents whistling noisily. It was his engine that Bumblebee heard, and of course his arm sticking out. Nothing too surprising there. The surprising bit was Bumblebee's _other_ wayward teammate also inside the pipe, just as soundly asleep and propped against Sideswipe's side. And here Bumblebee had thought that Sideswipe didn't like Fixit.

Huh. Bumblebee leaned back, fingers drumming on the edge of the pipe in thought. Well... as long as a Decepticon signal didn't show up, there was no reason _everyone_ on the team couldn't enjoy some rest. Including the team leader. With a nod to himself, Bumblebee turned and walked off, transforming once he got a few paces away and driving back towards the center of the scrapyard.

 _Especially_ the team leader.


End file.
